Hit the snooze when the 'larm clock rings
Layin' there doin' that sleepy head thing
There's a bird out my window spreadin' his wings
Cheap chirp doin' that sing in'
Thing I do when I first get up is the coffee thing in my favorite cup
Or two gets me goin' got things to do
Let me tell you a thing or two

Ev'rything's a thing if you know what I mean
You can't do nothin' 'cause there's no such thing
Some things are big, some things are small
Some mean a lot, some nothin' at all
It's all laid out in the scheme of things
No matter what it is
Ev'rything's a thing

Off to work in my old Mustang
Doin' that bumper to bumper thing
Up ahead a-ring-a-ling-ding-ding
Some guy's doin' that cell phone
Thing is the light turns green and he ain't doin' that drivin' thing
And the thing is about all this, that talkin' thing and drivin' don't mix

Ev'rything's a thing if you know what I mean
You can't do nothin' 'cause there's no such thing
Some things are big, some things are small
Some mean a lot, some nothin' at all
It's all laid out in the scheme of things
No matter what it is
Ev'rything's a thing

If you think this song ain't worth hummin'
You got another [bad word] #39;

Ev'rything's a thing if you know what I mean
You can't do nothin' 'cause there's no such thing
Some things are big, some things are small
Some mean a lot, some nothin' at all
It's all laid out in the scheme of things
No matter what it is
Ev'rything's a thing

Ev'rything's a thing
Ev'rything's a thing