[Flam] 
Well, lookie what we got here, brother of mine, it's the same in every town 
Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues, and not a drop of cider to be found 
Maybe they're not aware that there's really no need for this teary despair 

[Flim] 
And the key that they need to solve the sad cider shortage you and I will share 

Ponies: [excited chattering] 

[Flim and Flam] 
Well you've got opportunity 
In this [bad word] 

[Flam] 
He's Flim 

[Flim] 
He's Flam 

[Flim and Flam] 
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers 
Travelling salesponies nonpareil 
Pinkie Pie: Non-pa what? 

[Flam] 
Nonpareil, that's exactly the reason why, you see 
No pony else in this whole place will give you such a chance to be where you need to be 
And that's a new world, with tons of cider 
Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking 

[Flim] 
More cider than drink in all your days of thinking 

Rainbow Dash: I doubt that. 

[Flim and Flam] 
So take this opportunity 
In this [bad word] 

[Flim] 
He's Flim 

[Flam] 
He's Flam 

[Flim and Flam] 
We're the world famous Flim Flam brothers 
Travelling salesponies nonpareil 

[Flam] 
I suppose by now you're wondering about our peculiar mode of transport 

[Flim] 
I say, our mode of [bad word] 

[Flam] 
And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider? 

[Flim] 
Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same 

[Flam] 
But my brother and I have something most unique and superb 
Unseen at any time in this great new world

[Flim and Flam] 
And that's opportunity 

[Flam] 
For, the one and only, the biggest and the best 

[Flim] 
The unbelievable 

[Flam] 
Unimpeachable 

[Flim] 
Indispensable 

[Flam] 
I can't believe-able 

[Flim and Flam] 
Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 
Flam: What d'you say, sister? 

[Crowd] 
Oh, we got opportunity 
In this [bad word] 
Please Flim, please Flam, help us out of this jam 
With the Flim Flam brothers' Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 
Flam: Young filly, I would be ever so honored if you might see fit to let my brother and I borrow some of your delicious, and might I add spell-bindingly fragrant apples for our little demonstration here? 
Applejack: Uh, sure, I guess. 

[Crowd] 
Opportunity, in [bad word] 

[Flim and Flam] 
Ready Flim, ready Flam, let's bing bang zam! 
Flim: And show these thirsty ponies a world of delectable cider! 

[Crowd] 
Cider, cider, cider, cider... [continues until Granny Smith [bad word]  
Flam: Watch closely my friends! 
Flim: The fun begins! 
Flam: Now, here's where the magic happens, right here in this heaving roiling cider press boiling guts of the very machine. Those apples plucked fresh are right now as we speak being turned into grade-top-notch five-star blow-your-horses-up of one of a kind cider! 
Flim: Feel free to take a sneak peek! 

[Granny Smith] 
Now wait, you fellers, hold it! 
You went and over-sold it! 
I guarantee that what you have there [bad word] 
For the very most important ingredient 
Can't be added or done expedient 
And it's quality, friends, Apple Acre's quality and care! 

[Flam] 
Well Granny, I'm glad you brought that up, my dear, I say I'm glad you brought that up 
You'll see that we are very picky when [bad word] to cider if you'll kindly try a cup 

[Flim] 
Yes, sir, yes ma'am this great machine, it's just the very best 
So whaddaya say then, Apples 
Care to step into the modern world 
And put the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 to the test