Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me

 He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe) 
 His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!" 
 He had an Irish Setter 
 (Hrtch-a-pltch
 Hrtch-a-pltch
 Hrtch-a-pltch
 Arf!)

 It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night 
 The moon was dim, the band was tight 
 They did the Bump together

 What a splendid sight
 (Roon doon doon doon)
 Her teeth were white
 (Oo-ah oo-oooh)
 The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite) 
 He was glad that he met her

 She was an office girl ("My name is Betty") 
 Her fav'rite group was HELEN REDDY 
 (They discussed the weather)

 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Man!

 She was a lonely sort, just a little too short 
 Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport 
 Was hockey (in the winter)

 He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest 
 Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best 
 As he jabbed his elbow in her (get it honey? Get it?)

 Later on they went off to where the music was soft, 
 The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPIE 
 Who delivered their dinner

 The rice was brown, and soon they found 
 That the crowd around that had jammed the room, 
 Well it seemed to be getting thinner

 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Man!

 He took her home to a motor court 
 She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it, 
 But it made him angry! 
 (Angry! It made me angry!
 Why it made me so angry
 I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT LOUSY [bad word] )

 He called her a [bad word]   [bad word] [bad word] [bad word] . . . )
 pig
 (Pig pig pig . . . )
 And a [bad word] 
  [bad word] [bad word] [bad word] . . . )
 [bad word]   [bad word] [bad word] [bad word] . . . )
 And a [bad word]   [bad word] [bad word] [bad word] . . . )
 And she slammed the door
 (The door!)
 In a petulant frenzy!
 (petulant frenzy!
 This is a petulant
 Frenzy!
 I'm petulant,
 And I'm having a frenzy!)

 On the sofa she weeps 
 BOO HOO HOO HOO 
 She weeps and she weeps 
 BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO 
 She weeps and she peeps 
 Through the curtain

 He just got in his car 
 But the battery's dead 
 So he asked to use the phone 
 And she gives him some head 
 And that's the end of the story

 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a man like me 
 Honey honey, hey
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Baby don't you want a
 Man!
 Baby don't you want a man sometimes?