I took my troubles down to [bad word] 
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth
She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine
Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion No. 9

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I've been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm, and she made a magic sign
She said, what you need is Love Potion No. 9

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said, I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink
It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
But when I kissed that cop down at Thirty-Fourth and Vine
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion No. 9

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night
I started kissin' everything in sight
But when I kissed that cop down at Thirty-Fourth and Vine
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion No. 9