Settle down 
She's got legs... like an airship, She's got an [bad word] ... like a coaltip

She's got [bad word] .. just like hot air balloons, and I mean the hindenburg 
She's the biggest girl, I'm gonna get there soon 
Yeah you know what I mean 

She's got love when you want it, but she never lets go when you get it 
You disappear inside, you're never seen again... lost forever 
She's the biggest girl, I'm gonna get there soon,
here we go... Should be some kind of guitar solo here... 

Well I met her in a bar, she was Climbing up the wall 
I don't think she was available, she was made of (inintelligible) 
I met her in a bar, she was Climbing up the wall 
In fact she was nailed to it 
I got out my hammer and said babe,lets get down to it baby 

She had a brain like a Sheepdip, She [bad word]  like a cesspit I didn't mind 
She was a big girl, She was big. I mean she was big, she was [bad word] huge!
Enormous! 
You could have sailed the hindenburg through her legs and never even had landing permission! 

One more! 
Oh we sailed across the ocean with me 
I'd look like a flea on the back of a sperm whale 
Oh yeah, I was waving a match inside the albert hall
yeah