Twice upon a time
In the valley of the tears
The auctioneer is bidding 
For a box of fading years
And the elephants are dancing 
On the graves of squealing mice
Anyone for tennis?
Wouldn't that be nice?

And the ice creams are all melting
On the streets of bloody beer
While the beggars stain the pavements
With fluorescent Christmas cheer
And the Bentley-driving [bad word] Is putting up his price
Anyone for tennis?
Wouldn't that be nice?

And the prophets in the boutiques
Give out messages of hope
With jingle bells and fairy tales
And blind providing scopes
And you can tell that all they're saying
Underneath the pretty lights
Anyone for tennis?
Wouldn't that be nice?

Yellow Buddhist monkeys
Burning brightly at the zoo
You can bring a bowl of rice
And then a glass of water, too
And Fate is setting up the chessboard
While Death rolls out the dice
Anyone for tennis?
Wouldn't that be nice?