Bobby Slot and Freddy Weiss
 Were not so nice,
 But I like their names a lot.
 So, I'll say 'em twice.
 Bobby Slot and Freddy Weiss
 Achieved a modest renown
 When they took an axe
 And went to town
 On an old upright.
 And it was love,
 It was love at first sight!

 There's a harp in that piano.
 And there's a girl inside that boy.
 And my daddy's crowbars are his pride and joy.

 It's romance on the street
 Where harp and hacksaw meet
 On the day
 When the boy in every butcher on the block [bad word] out to play.
 One last cast iron kitten on the keys.

 My father's affection for his crowbar collection
 Was Freudian to say the least.
 But there's a beauty in that beast.
 And there's a girl inside that boy.
 And my daddy's crowbars are his pride and joy.

 There's no need to rehearse.
 It's just like Jesus in reverse,
 Makin' many from the one.
 No need for T.V.
 When the whole family
 Gathers round the old upright for some old time fun.

 Oh, Daddy!
 You can sure tickle those ivories
 In the Dance of Diminishing Possibilities!
 Diminishing Possibilities!
 Diminishing Possibilities!
 Diminishing Possibilities!

 If a man with an axe
 Axe you out for lunch,
 Just say, "No thanks,
 But thanks a bunch."
 Even if he says, "Pretty please?"
 It's the Dance of Diminishing Possibilities.