So let me tell you how this all came to be
I'm doin this here rap for your safety
So all you kids dont mess up like me
and be disowned by your family
So check it, this is how it all began
I was chillin, eatin' some raisin bran
I decided it was time to get a tan
So I grabbed my scissors and then I ran

I forgot my house was two stories tall
I missed the first step and began to fall
What happened next I could not recall
I was impaled by the scissors and thats not all

I thought I could get some help on the street
I [bad word] over by a f---ing Jeep
The rest of this mess I will not repeat
to help keep your lunch, I've been discrete

(box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man)

I woke up in a strange location
Some dirty bum had an explanation
Apparently he had no education
He turned my body into an abomination

He said he found me on the road nearly dead
It was necessary he fix my torso and my head
He had no human parts so he used a box instead
The news was so overwhelming that I fled

(box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man)

[Gangster 1: Yo, what's up homie, you know that boxman?
Gangster 2: Yeah, he used to be a part of my clique
Gangster 1: Yeah, well what about now?
Gangster 2: I don't know man, he can suck my --]

It's hard to live with a body of cardboard
You'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored
But since the accident I've always been ignored
I [bad word] one day that my hope will be restored

I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me,
but of course no girl likes a guy made of tree
I get so desparate that a cry and I plea
I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree

I guess it ain't that bad to be a box like me
Hey, at least I ain't Mary-Kate or Ashley.
If I ever want to travel across the sea,
I disguise myself as a package and fly for free.

Well, the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as [bad word] 
So that's the end of my tale, so long, and farewell.

(box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man) (x3)