It’s a hundred pounds an hour
 Or two hundred for the day
 I’ll take cash or credit card
 I don’t mind how you pay

 It’s a funny kind of business
 When you’re in demand
 social mantelpiece-man
 Would never understand

 Started back in oh-six
 When I was down and out
 Not a conjure up together
 Left in no doubt

 I looked at [bad word] 
 And I had to make the choice
 One was cleaning toilets
 And the other needed boys

 Now I’m a freak
 I get my money through love
 And I’m a freak
 But it hurts me so much

 I’m living by the hour
 Sometimes by the day
 Always gets me outta bed
 And never goes away

 Here’s another pensioner
 Who’s hornier than most
 Got a little cottage
 Just on the coast

 But we’ve gotta be so quick
 Before her husband gets home
 He might be old and grey
 But he’s as hard as a stone

 The act of love was simple
 But the end felt like death
 Then she started talkin’
 I could smell her breath

 Oh my stomach went all queasy
 And I started to balk
 I took my ready payments
 And I walked out the door

 Cus I’m a freak
 I get my money through love
 And I’m a freak
 But it hurts me so much

 I’m living by the hour
 Sometimes by the day
 Always gets me outta bed
 And never goes away

 All my friends laugh
 And they talk behind my back
 I’m thinking I’m on top
 But inside my soul just rots

 I’ll pack it in some day
 Save some money and move away
 Cus life as a gigolo
 It’s all gonna have to go
 I’m gonna have to go

 Spinning down my spine
 It gives me the creeps
 Pay me now, not later
 Cus I’ve gotta leave

 Got a forty year old woman
 Who’s six foot four
 All the kids go crazy
 When they see me at the door

 It all gets sorted out
 And gives them a clout
 Strips off in the bedroom
 Shows me what it’s about

 I try and try all day
 Tryin’ all day long
 I try and try again
 Until the money’s all gone

 Cus I’m a freak
 I get my money through love
 And I’m a freak
 But it hurts me so much

 I’m living by the hour
 Sometimes by the day
 Always gets me outta bed
 And never goes away