So your moment came you were sitting on the loo 
Thinking of the things you wished you had the balls to do 
Your dark side was loud & clear deep down in the dumps 
Picking over cracking bones and old [bad word] 
Look at you you're just a joke with ketchup on your tie 
Not to mention collars - they'd give the dead a fright 
Your leather and your motorbikes won't help you know 
But I've still got my poetry and you've lost your fake tan 

And I see apes in the aeroplanes and fish in the trees 
And when all is said and done who will marry me? 

Meander here wander there just go as you please 
That's no way to live your life as far as I can see 
I thought I sent my form in to the powers that be 
With your memory like a civet you probably sent a tree 
I love the smell of morning in the morning when we rise 
The market hates uncertainty so wake and hold on tight 
Flat head, countersunk or just zinc-coated 
I don't care just [bad word] them all hard against the wall 

And I see apes in the aeroplanes and fish in the trees 
And when all is said and done who will marry me? 

What the devil have you done to the jewel in your crown 
I bought a bird of paradise I put my payment down 
I wish upon the satellites as good as all the stars 
I wish upon the city lights and pushing taxi cars 
My family trees a sorry tale I tell it in the pub 
Except there's no-one listening just coin-collecting cubs 
Some years ago I fell to earth and landed in the woods 
Maybe you are half a tree with only half your goods 

And I see apes in the aeroplanes and fish in the trees 
And when all is said and done who will marry me?