I am Rattus Norvegicus.
I’m sitting in some [bad word] hole rat’s nest and I’m a little angry.
I wanted to be a talk show host-not a rat.
You men think you have it bad with women?
I’ve got it a lot worse let me tell you.
What am I gonna say to some nice looking girl who I want to meet?
I can tread water for over 36 hours?
I can chew through lead pipes and cinderblocks?
I [bad word] on telephone wires?!
And what if I do get the girl home?
Can’t fit her though the door-it’s too small.
Yeah I got a lot of girls.
How’d you like to have a tail that went through your body to drag around all the time?-
Not my idea of fun by a long shot!
And do you see the neighborhoods that I’m forced to live in?
Those people live like pigs!
Can’t catch the subway-they haven’t built it yet.
Can’t catch the up-town bus I can’t reach the step-up.
Hey taxi!
And everyone,
Wants to kill me,
Feed me [bad word] and poison,
Put electrodes in my head and make [bad word] on treadmills
Dissect, bisect, and defect me.
Biome, blind, mane and tame me.
Are you folks crazy?!
You never invite me to your parties as if I would really wanna go anyhow.
Have you ever asked me to go to a movie?
How ‘bout bowling?
You ever seen a rat cry? 
I got tears.
And I have a heart-and I got brains.
If you could just see past the fur,
I think that you would see
That I’m a lot like you.