I went down to the beach and saw Kiki
She was, like, all "ehhhh"
And I was, like, "whatever!"

Then this [bad word] up to me and she's all, like,
"Hey, aren't you that dude?"
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

So later I'm at the pool hall
And this [bad word] up
And she's, like, "awww"
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

Cuz this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!

And then it's three A.M.
And I'm on the corner, wearing my leather
This [bad word] up and he's, like, "hey, punk!"
I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

Then I'm throwing dice in the alley
Officer [bad word] up and is, like,
"Hey, I thought I told you..."
And I'm, like, "yeah, whatever!"

And then [bad word] Zafo
I'm, like, "yo, Zafo. What's up?"
He's, like, "nothin'"
And I'm, like, "that's cool."

Cuz this is my
United States of Whatever!
And this is my
United States of Whatever!