I am a young man with a simple occupation 
I cleaned the toilets of the local railway station 
There's no romance in my life - sometimes I wished I had a knife

I read the offers on the advertising pages 
The cries for help from different people, different ages 
But they had nothing to say, at least not until the day, 
When something special I read, this is what it said 

If you dream, of the girl for you, then call us and get 
Two for the price of one 
If it's foggy and you feel blue, so call us and get 
Two for the price of one 

I called the number and a voice said "Alice Lexy" 
The voice was husky and it sounded kinda y
I was amazed at my luck, the purest streak of gold I'd [bad word] 
I said, I read your ad, it sounded rather stilling(?) 
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling 
Why don't we meet for a chat, the three of us in my flat 
I can't forget what you said 
This is what I read

If you dream, of the girl for you, then call us and get 
Two for the price of one 
If it's foggy and you feel blue, so call us and get 
Two for the price of one 

I am a young man with a simple occupation 
I cleaned the toilets of the local railway station