Vader is a friend of mine!
(Vader is my friend)
Vader is a friend of mine!
(I have a friend named Vader)
Vader is a friend of mine!
(Vader is my friend)
Vader is a friend of mine!

He taught me how to kill,
And do it easily,
He taught me I could do it when people laughed at me!
I've had friends before,
They've all been such a bore,
He showed me how to dance just like a [bad word] 

Vader is a friend of mine!
(Vader is my friend)
Vader is a friend of mine!
(I have a friend named Vader)
Vader is a friend of mine!
(Vader is my friend)
Vader is a friend of mine!

(At this point in Vader and Me video, the song stops and transitions to Anthony giving Ian the news of Vader's death.)

He taught me how to torture
'Til people had no soul
He stabbed a guy with a lightsaber and left a little hole!
They may say he's evil
But I say that's a lie, [bad word] me, he's a super-cool guy!
 [bad word] interlude)

Vader is a friend of mine!
Vader is a friend of mine!

Once, I tried [bad word] I tried [bad word] away,
But he cut my Achilles tendon with his little blade!
He is like a shark!
But he walks on the land
He'll try to kill you any way he can!

Vader is a friend of mine!
(Vader is a friend of mine!)
Vader is a friend of mine!

He will kill my family
If I do something wrong
He chokes me with his Force powers when I write silly songs!
This song is silly,
So now I'm going to die,
He put a bomb right in my underwear!

Bye! (bomb explodes)