She wore an apron that was covered in gravy stains,
She had a little green book, and she had varicose veins.
I was tired, I was hungry, I was ready to snap.
She dropped the steaming gumbo right in my lap.

I was alone, otherwise I would have trashed the place.
But I was soothed by the Muzak and her beautiful face.
The meat was chewy and the chicken was bland.
I'm not a pigeon, but she had me eating out of her hand.

 [bad word]  And I feel, and I feel, and I feel like a milkshake.
I never ordered a slice of life a la mode.
What i need is an earthquake;
I could hide in a crack in the road.
But I feel like a milkshake. (Feel like a milkshake)

She started sponging my pants; it really tickled.
She grabbed my plate and sank her teeth into my pickle.
She sat down on my lap and started picking my teeth.
She was as naked as a baby underneath.

We were lost in a dream on a bed of fluffy rice,
When I was grabbed by the chef; he had a grip like a vise.
He had gold medallions and a hairy chest.
I gave him back his wife but he was still depressed.

 [bad word] 

I tipped heavy so they wouldn't think the yankees were mean.
I saw a ground beef patty hit the coffee machine.
I could tell this gorilla was the moody kind.
I could have used a doggie bag, but I changed my mind.

One of these hungry days when my [bad word] dry,
I'm gonna meet that Great Soda Jerk in the sky.
He'll set the blender for that final frappe,
Wipe the fudge from his beard, and then he'll probably say:

 [bad word]  Do you feel, do you feel, do you feel like a milkshake
At the end of your slice of life a la mode?
We could split a devol's food cake,
But the man with the van never showed.
So we'll both have a milkshake. (Both have a milkshake)