When I was younger 
Life was so [bad word] 
I couldn't fit in 
My paddling pool 

And when I went to the park 
Other kids would laugh at me 
And I'd always be asked to 
Get footballs down from trees cos 

I was just too tall, I was just too tall 
I was just to tall it's [bad word] 
But I swore one day, I'd make them pay 
And I knew just what I'd do, 
I'd play for Liverpool 

I so was determined 
To make them the fools 
Then I left Southampton 
And joined  Liverpool 

And after a 4 month goal drought 
Scored two against Wigan 
And then people said that
 I possessed great feet for a big man

I played football, I played football
I played football it's [bad word] 
And then I stole fans hearts, 
With the robot dance, 
It seemed that all my dreams came [bad word]  
When i got the winner against Man U 

Now with my team mates
My life is great 
They all drive sports cars
With private number plates 
I wanted a Ferrari 
And a Lambourghini too 
But the only way 
I can drive them
Is if I open the sunroof 

I'm just too tall, I'm just too tall
I'm just to tall it's [bad word] 
But I swore one day, I'd make them pay
And I knew just what I'd do, 
That’s why I play for Liverpool