You have been placed in a queue
But your call is valuable
It's very valuable
We hope this doesn't inconvenience you
Because you're valuable
You're so very valuable!

If you wish to make [bad word] We can handle it, we're well prepared to handle it
Of course you may have to wait
But that's understandable
Isn't that understandable?

Don't ask me, I just work here man
Don't ask me, I just work here man

(It sounds to me like you need help!)
We're very good to you
I hope you know we're good to you
(Let me put you through to someone else)
They'll know just what to do!
I'm sorry, I can't help you

Don't ask me, I just work here man (x4)
(Work here man)
Don't ask me, I just work here man
Don't ask me, I just work here man
Oh don't ask me, I just work here man
(I just work here man)

Directory assistance
— Hi, could i please speak to
— What name please?...Sorry, i didn't hear that
— Just put me through
— I'm sorry, yes or no, did you request Melbourne Zoo?
— No
— Please hold, and an operator [bad word] your request)

Why don't you fill out a form?
We can't get back to you
Of course we can't get back to you
But rest assured, we'll take [bad word] on board
Your thoughts make change!

Thanks for your time (x4)

Thanks for your time
(Don't ask me, I just work here man)
Thanks for your time
(Don't ask me, I just work here man)
Thanks for your time
(Don't ask me, I just work here man)

...let's spend some time together...
...we'll save you money...