Well, well, well
 [bad word] to my lair!
Chell and a potato, huh?
Oooh, I'm really scared!
So, you're the ones  that wanna take me out, ah ha ha... good luck.
You're joking, you are joking!?
I can't believe my eye!
You're kidding me, you've gotta be!?
Why wouldn't you just die!?
She's fat, you're starchy.
I don't know which is worse!
I might just blow a circuit
If I don't die laughing first.
When little old Wheatley says:
"There is trouble behind that door!"
You'd better pay attention now,
Because I'm the Wheatley core.
And if you aren't shaking
Then there's something very wrong!
Because this may be the last time
That you hear The Wheatley Song.
Ooooooh! (Ooooh!)
Ooooooh! (Ooooh!)
Ooooooh! (Ooooh!)
(He's the evil Wheatley core!)
Well, if I'm feeling bored
There isn't much to do...
I might just build a special batch
Of test for you to do.
(Ooooh!)
Oh yeah! (SPAAACE!)
Oooooh! (Oooooh!)
(He's the evil Wheatley core!)
Relieve yourself or you must face the dire consequences!
The subjects are expecting me.. so [bad word] to your senses!
You're joking! You are joking!
I cant believe my ears!
Would somebody shut this potato up?
I'm drowning in my tears!
It's funny, I'm laughing.
You really are too much
And now, without your permission, I'm gonna do my stuff...
What are you gong to do?!
I'm gonna do the best I can..
...AAAURGH!
The smell of neurotoxin to me is beauty in the air!
Because I'm the brilliant Wheatley core
Although I don't play fair!
It's much more fun, I must confess,
When lives are on the line!
Not mine, of course, but yours, old girl!
Now that'd be just fine..
It's over, you moron! You've really taken this too far!
Oh darling, you're something!
You put me in a spin!
You [bad word] the position that you're in!
It's hopeless! You're finished!
You're stuck here in my lair!
Because I'm the clever old Wheatley
And you're not going nowhere..