The Hospital Song

Nobody sends me birthday cards 
Nobody brings me flowers 
I'm just here for operations 
I've been out for hours 
When [bad word] to I'll wet my bed 
Cos, when I get mad 
I sink so low 
As matron knows 

I get off on what you give me darlin' 
I get off on what you give to me 
And when I go to that seedy ward 
Up in the sky 
You'll be waiting 
With a hypodermic needle 
And a graph 
 [bad word] the dark 
I'm grateful for my anaesthetic 
Out goes the spark 
Delirious and apathetic 
When [bad word] to 
I'll wet my bed 
And when I get well 
I'll take revenge 
I'll wreak my wrath 
On all blood donors 
And their sisters 
Visiting time and flowers 
When sister brings that bed pan round 
I'll [bad word] like April showers 

I get off on what you give me darlin' 
I get off on what you give to me 

And when I go 
I'll die of plaster casting love