Who’s that girl that’s always first to raise her hand?
- I know who!
Her name’s Hermione and, boy, she makes me mad
- Ugh, me too!
That girl is ugly, and [bad word]  disgusting!
Looks like she hasn’t washed her hair in three whole weeks

You know, what kind of name is Hermione, anyway?
- I don’t know, it took me like four years to learn how to pronounce it!
She has stupid hair!
- Yeah!

What kind of name is Hermione?
It makes me think of something whiny
- Like cats!
She’s already in Arithmancy
- Uh-huh, Uh-huh
I really hate that she’s smarter than me
- Ugh, me too!

Have you heard that her parents are dentists?
- Dentists?
That means they pick around in dirty Muggles’ teeth
- Ew!
But she hangs around that gorgeous Harry Potter
- I love him!
And that other red head boy -
- What’s his name?
Roy?
- No, Roger
Ralph?
- Ronald?
Oh, who cares

What kind of name is Hermione?
- I dunno
It’s a made up name I guarantee
- Mm-hmm Mm-hmm
Always sucking up in History
Do you think she stole the answer key?
- I bet she did!
No wonder she’s so smart
- She’s a dirty, rotten, cheater!
Ugh, I hate Hermione!
- Me too!

What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name…
What kind of name…
What kind of name…
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name…

That little witch!