I can see it in your eyes, girl, that you're in the mood for love
So I'll light some candles, pour some wine, let's sit down on [bad word] 
But there's something I must tell you, babe, before we take this step
Something about me, girl, that you do not know yet

I have no [bad word]  It was torn off
In a bicycle accident in 1999.
I also lost one [bad word] so all I have is a weird uni-ball
And [bad word] tube between my legs
But babe, I can love you in different ways

I'll make love to you with [bad word] tube that I use for urinating
And I'll tape two Popsicle sticks to it to make it easier for penetrating
And having only one ball isn't always a bad thing
It's like a pool ball in a pillowcase, it's like a cherry on a sundae

Сause, girl, I have no [bad word]  It was torn off
In a bicycle accident in 1999.
I also lost one [bad word] so all I have is a weird uni-ball
And [bad word] tube between my legs
But, babe, I can love you in different ways.

Just cause I don't have a [bad word]  it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Just cause I don't have a [bad word]  it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Just cause I don't have a [bad word]  it doesn't mean I can't rock.
Ohh yeah.