Doug: 
A'right, so I'm walking down the street... you know, whatever... jus' minding my own business [Yeah, yeah I know]. I take a look and I see an Ice Cream [bad word]  and I'm like aww [bad word] man, y'know I want some ice cream. Cuz it is a hot [bad word] #39; day [Well yeah, man...] I want some [bad word] ice cream, so you know I go up there all the kids [bad word] away y'know they're like "Oh my god a dinosaur!!" Y'know all that [bad word] [Pussies!] and I go up there and I say "'ey, I want some mint chocolate chip ice cream." Ice cream man looks at me and says "We don't have any mint chocolate chip ice cream" [Awww...] An' I told him, I said "Dude, I really want some mint chocolate chip ice cream." He says "I'm sorry. We don't have any mint chocolate chip ice cream."... 

...SO I ATE THAT [bad word] #33;!! 

Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 
Doug: The most vicious beast to ever walk the planet. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 
Doug: [bad word]  not some newt in a zoo. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 
Doug: Now gimmie some mint chocolate ice cream, dammit. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 
Doug: And while I'm at it, I'll have a Rocket Pop too. 

Luke: 
I ain't made of latex, or extinct like Aztecs. 
When they made us all female, I changed my . 
Gobbling up rednecks like they were Tex-Mex. 
Time for your butt to start cashing those checks 
from a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 

Doug: 
So I'm waitin' in line at the DMV, [Oh I hate that place] y'know, cuz I moved recently and [Yeah, I know] the, the address on my insurance doesn't match the address on my license. So, you know I, I gotta go in I gotta get that changed. Y'know, they gotta match and [bad word]  [Oh that's a pain in the [bad word]  So I go up to the lady, she's there show her my license and I say "'ey, I need this address changed" She says "You need two articles of mail." So I show her this card that, y'know, my mother wrote me, y'know cuz it's like hey y'know my mother she writes me cards. She's [bad word] #39; cool. Y'know she's my [bad word] mom. y'know? [Yeah] So I show this to the lady, and she's like "Oh, no no... sorry. This doesn't count. [Oh shiiiit.] It has to be something that the government recognizes [Oh, that [bad word] ] y'know like a bank statement or a bill or somethin' like that."... 

...SO I ATE THAT [bad word] #33;!! 

Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] 
Doug: King of the thunder lizards, y'know what I'm saying? 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] 
Doug: I don't need your eye chart. If you move, I'll see you. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] 
Doug: I'll chomp your fat [bad word] in one gulp without thinkin'. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] 
Doug: Now just give me my license, I got errands to do. 

Luke: 
While I'm drinking Beck's at the discotheques, 
With DJ Velociraptor on the decks, 
I'm gonna lyrically flex, and drop [bad word]  
Straight out of a time vortex  [bad word] a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 

Doug: 
So I'm online at a [bad word]  y'know [Oh yeah?] and I'm tryin' to look up where I can get some good dinosaur [bad word]  Cuz, y'know I'm... I'm a Dinosaur. I want some dinosaur [bad word] [Yeah, you gotta do it, you gotta do it] So you know I'm... I'm lookin' around and ask on some of these [bad word] [bad word] y'know [*laugh*] "Hey, where's the dinosaur [bad word] " and like everyone's tryin' to act like I'm not there. They're all tryin' to ignore me uhh except for this one kid. Okay, so this one kid decides he wants to answer me. Remember his name is Bobby. Bobby Lou. What the [bad word] kind of name is Bobby Lou? [Aww...] An' I'm saying "Hey, where's the dinosaur [bad word] at?" and he's like "Dude, what are you, some sort of freak?" I don't like that so okay, so I'm like "I just want my dinosaur [bad word]  okay? I... I don't want to cause any trouble." And he says "What? You a T-Rex or something?" I say "Yeah, yeah I am a T-Rex or somethin'" an' he says "What the [bad word] you gonna do with dinosaur [bad word]  Your arms are so small you can't even touch it." [Oh no...] 

So I found out what state this guy was in, bought a plane ticket reserved a whole entire row, you know because I'm so [bad word] big, flew to Alabama to get a connecting flight. Finally got dropped off in Texas, hailed a cab, the driver didn't speak English, but I didn't care. He understood the address. So he drove me there. I rang the kid's doorbell waited a minute, he didn't answer, so I climbed into his window found out which room was his, bust open the door...

...AND I ATE THAT [bad word] #33;!! 

Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
Doug: I hacked your I.P., 'cause my skills are legit. 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
Doug: You thought you could hide from me, Bobby Lou? 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
Doug: Like Goldblum said, you're one big pile of [bad word]  
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
Doug: Adios, you dumb troll, now you're Jurassic Poo. 

Luke: 
predator apex, so show your respects, 
'cause I'm a Grimlock bigger than Metroplex. 
Not Jonah Hex, or Professor X, 
or even [bad word] Lex 
can stop a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! 

Luke: Hey, I got one more! 
Doug: [Do it, man! Do it, man, do one more! Do one more! Yeah!Do it!]
Luke: One more. One more, here I go... 

Luke: 
Universal execs will make a googolplex! 
More cash than those Star Wars or Star Treks. 
At the multiplex in your 3-specs, 
you're gonna scream and [bad word] your spandex 
'cause of a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] 

Doug: [Aww! Ain't no way you got one more after that one.] 
Luke: Oh, you think I'm out? You think I can't do it again? 
Doug: [No way man, no way.] 
Luke: Oh yeah, well check this [bad word] out! 
Doug: [Aww!] 

Luke: 
Can't wear a new Rolex, or use a Rolodex, 
or put on turtlenecks, because I got no pecs, 
but I'll go 12 parsecs, and fast a reflex, 
I'll tear you up like you're a [bad word] #39; Kleenex, 
'cause I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*ROAR!*] 

Doug: Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!!! 
Luke: I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*] 
I'm a [bad word] #39; T-Rex! [*T-REX!*] [*ROAR!*]