Mo and Joe had a candy store
 Tellin' fortune behind a door
 Cops grabbed Mo and as Joe ran out
 Brother Mo then began to shout
 [bad word] Joe, eh de police at de door [bad word] Joe and he won't let me go [bad word] Joe [bad word] as fast as you can [bad word] Joe de police holdin' me han'

 Ask Juanita to stand me bail
 Don't want to sleep in this rotten jail
 Hide de crystal ball by de fence
 So dey won't find no evidence

 When you reach home get in de bed
 Call a doctor and tie your head
 Tell Juanita invent a lie
 Got to have a good alibi
 [bad word] Joe, eh de police at de door [bad word] Joe and he won't let me go [bad word] Joe [bad word] as fast as you can [bad word] Joe de police holdin' me han'

 Go get a mouthpiece to talk for me
 Oh, they'll sure give me de third degree
 When dey take me before de sarge
 I am going to deny de charge

 If de judge ask me how I plead
 Not guilty sir, most decidedly
 You can see judge at a glance
 I'm a victim of circumstance
 [bad word] Joe, eh de police at de door [bad word] Joe and he won't let me go [bad word] Joe [bad word] as fast as you can [bad word] Joe de police holdin' me han'

 Me mommy told me not long ago
 Boy keep away from that no good Joe
 If I do like me momma say
 I wouldn't be in this trouble today

 I'll be home by de break of day
 If de judge believe what I say
 And if he don't I'll be lookin' cute
 Behind de bars in me striped suit
 [bad word] Joe, eh de police at de door [bad word] Joe and he won't let me go [bad word] Joe [bad word] as fast as you can [bad word] Joe de police holdin' me han'
 [bad word] Joe [bad word] Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe [bad word] Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe [bad word] Joe