The bartender's working on a late night shift
See bums n blonds n barmaids on a midnight drift
And the dance band's playing the same old slime
I'm sinkin' whiskey and you're sippin' fine wine
I don't know what it is you're trying to prove
Well it should be you but it's me who can hardly move, uh uh
And I've got my reputation lyin' on the [bad word] on baby, be a good dog and help the blind
Oh won't you carry me home
Won't you carry me home
Won't you carry me home
Like a [bad word]  pick me up
You ain't no lady but you sure got taste in men
That head of yours has got you by time and time again
My arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blow
And your back's needin' breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the show
But I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right outta coin
But you want more and it's half past four and they wanna close the joint
But we can't afford a taxi, and it's too late for the bus
But I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I can [bad word] Carry me home
Oh won't you carry me home
Carry me home
Don't let me lie in here, in all this beer
You drank all your booze and half of mine
I'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for the sunshine [bad word] and kill me)
Just like the man who threw me on the floor
Don't matter, while I'm down here I might as well try and find the [bad word]  door
Scuse me, have you seen, it's about this big
And have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sick
I'm dead [bad word] n' heavin' hangin' upside down
N' you're getting up and leaving, do you think I'm gonna drown
Carry me home
Oh won't you carry me home
Carry me home
Carry me home
Oh won't you carry me home
Carry me home