Washing machine, pinstripe dream 
 Stripped the gloss from a beauty queen 
 Found our nest, in the Daily Express 
 Met the vicar in a holy vest 

Brought up the children Church of 
 Now I vegetate with a colour TV 
 Worst ever thing that ever happened to me 
 Oh, for D.I.V.O.R.C.E., oh Judy 

Whatever happened to pillow fights 
 Whatever happened to jeans so tight, Friday nights 
 Whatever happened to lover's lane 
 Whatever happened to passion games 
 Sunday walks in the pouring rain 

Curling tongs, mogadons 
 "I got a headache baby, don't take so long" 
 Single beds, middle age dread 
 Losing the war in the Waistlands spread 

Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube 
 Who forgot to flush the loo 
 Leave your sweaty socks outside the door 
 Don't walk across my polished floor, oh Judy 

Whatever happened to morning smiles 
 Whatever happened to wicked wiles, permissive styles 
 Whatever happened to twinkling eyes, hard fast drives  [bad word] on unnatural size 

Propping up a bar, family car 
 Sweating out a mortgage as a balding clerk 
 World war three, suburbanshee 
 Just slip her these pills and I'll be free 

No more Judy, Judy, Judy no more 
 Goodbye Judy