William Shakespeare: [bad word] bite, my thumb!
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades!
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
I hath been iambic on that [bad word] ye [bad word] My rhymes is classic
Your [bad word] is drafted by a kindergartner high on acid
Ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag
And no gonads
Egads it's so sad
And to top if off you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books too

Cat In The Hat:

I would not could not on a boat
Read any of the boring [bad word] plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't to hear you 
And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to death
You leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat In The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think [bad word] neck [bad word] gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about [bad word] back

William Shakespeare:

I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces
Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable
You think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter
And some ghetto Muppet creatures
The Bard is in the building it's a castle, I'm a boss
I bet I'm Parliament I'm positive I'm killing it
I'm iller than the plague I never caught or cholera a baller baller
On some cricket bowler business while you're sitting in the bleachers.

Cat In The Hat:

You rap fast you do
Yes you rap fast it's [bad word] Now let's see how you rap
Versus Things 1 and 2

Things 1 & 2:

Oh, No We'll smash your globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script but now [bad word] the show
You can take your fancy words and send'em back home to your mama
Break our foot off in your [bad word] with our feetie pajamas
Man we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
We'll break offa your legs make no mistake we in a rage
All does not end well when we bust out our cage
You gettin' upstaged Bill yo, you just got played!