I’d like to propose a toast...

Here's to the ladies who lunch--
Everybody laugh.
Lounging in their caftans
And planning a [bad word] On their own behalf.

Off to the gym,
Then to a [bad word] 
Claiming they're fat.
And looking grim,
'Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat.
Does anyone still wear a hat?
I'll drink to that.

Here's to the girls who stay smart--
Aren't they a [bad word] to their classes
In optical art,
Wishing it would pass.

Another long exhausting day,
Another thousand dollars,
matinee, a Pinter play,
Perhaps a piece of Mahler's.
I’ll drink to that
And one for Mahler

Here's to the girls who play wife
Aren't they too much?
Keeping house, but clutching
copy of "Life"
Just to keep in touch.

The ones who follow [bad word] And meet themselves at the schools,
Too busy to know that they're fools.
Aren't they a gem?
I'll drink to them.
Let's all drink to them.

Here's to the girls who just watch--
Aren't they the best?
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of Scotch,
Plus a little jest.

Another chance to disapprove,
Another brilliant zinger,
Another reason not to move,
Another vodka stinger.
I'll drink to that.

So, here's to the girls on the go--
Everybody tries.
Look into their eyes,
And you'll see what they know:
Everybody dies.

toast to that invincible bunch,
The dinosaurs surviving the [bad word] 
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch--

Everybody rise!