What If I"

I've heard it all before
Could hear it all a thousand times more
Playing with me all the time
No one feels the same
And sanity is all a game
Locked up deep inside my mind
Hey die - you want an alibi
Hey quit - you want to get a fix
Hey try - you'll never make it tonight
You can feel it deep inside
All of the illusions for myself
What if I try to make amends for someone else
What if I try to change the way I'm feeling deep inside
What if I died filled with sorrow wanting another try
No one can face the [bad word] 
Was there nothing more that you could do
What would you do different next time
Keep turning from the past
The [bad word] much to fast
Or is it all in my mind