I’ve got a girl, the coolest girl in the world 
 But she ain’t fly for the guys in sci-fi 
 And I’m a guy with a model Enterprise 
 Imagine her surprise if she ever finds out 

I’ve got a queen, but she only wears blue jeans 
 And I am a guy in Kirk t-shirt 
 Black boots and a red miniskirt 
 I’ll be in world of hurt if she ever finds out 

I’ve got to think about it 
 I’ve got to work it through 
 If she learns my dark secret 
 What would William Shatner do? 

I’ve got a chick, in bed a lunatic 
 Won't be my [bad word] if she knows I love Star Wars
 And I know only one thing for sure 
 I’ll never score If she ever finds out 

I’ve got to make a choice now 
 Deceive her or tell her [bad word] 
 I know Vulcans never lie but 
 What would William Shatner do?

I love War of the Worlds, got a b**** for green girls 
 Alien nations, deep space stations 
 I love flying saucers, say “live long and prosper” 
 “May the force be with you”, Mr. Sulu 

I want to be your man, “by [bad word] 
 Don’t want us to be undone, “danger Will Robinson!”
 And if I decree “beedee beedee bee”
 Does that mean we’ll be through?
 What would William Shatner do?