Sally called when she got the word
She said, I suppose you heard…about Alice.
So [bad word] to the window and I looked outside
And I could hardly believe my eyes
As the big limousine pulled slowly into Alice's drive

Oh I don't why she's leaving or were she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)
24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)

We grew up together, two kids in the park
We carved our initials deep in the bark…me and Alice
As she walks to the door with her head held high
Just for a moment I caught her eye
As the big limousine pulled slowly out of Alice's drive

Oh I don't why she's leaving or were she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)
24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)

Sally called back, asked how I felt
She said, I know how to help…Get over Alice
She said now Alice is gone but I'm still here
You know, I've been waiting 24 years
And the big limousine disappeared

Oh I don't why she's leaving or were she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
Cause for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)
24 years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice
(ALICE, WHO THE [bad word] IS ALICE)

Now I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice.