No, I haven’t been slapped with an injunction by the blue haired lawyer and been forced to write my own Christmas carol, I’ve made a great discovery and felt I needed to share it with the world. What is Santa’s Super Sleigh? It’s the fictional  song that Will, Hugh Grant’s character in About Boy, lives off the royalties from. Well, I suppose that a song can never be fictional, but it is fictional that it’s as popular as the movie would have you believe. Written by Peter Brewis exclusively for the film, it was meant to be “the worst Christmas jingle in history”, something emblematic of Will’s troubled family life. It took me quite a while to dig it up, but I found a [bad word] by a blogger even more resourceful than I and snatched it for myself. So soak it in, from my house to yours. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Look [bad word] ’round the bend
 It’s Santa and his reindeer friends
 And they’ve got the right of way
 It’s Santa’s super sleigh.

Load it up with shiny toys
 For Santa’s favourite girls and boys.
 With a Ho! Ho! Ho! and a Hey! Hey! Hey!
 It’s Santa’s super sleigh.

Just leave out the minced pies
 And a glass of sherry too
 And you’ll have a big surprise
 When Santa visits you.

Mum loves Daddy, and he loves her
 And I’m not sure who I prefer.
 I love them both and they love me
 And that’s how things should be.

Look [bad word] round the bend
 It’s Santa and his reindeer friends.
 With a Ho! Ho! Ho! and a Hey! Hey! Hey!
 It’s Santa’s super sleigh.

The lights are all gleaming
 upon the Christmas tree
 By the fireside you’re dreaming
 It’s the perfect family.

If you never cuss or cheat or lie
 And you’ve always been as nice as pie
 Then something good [bad word] your way
 From Santa’s Super sleigh.

But of all the presents Christmas brings
 Exciting shapes and shiny things,
 The greatest gift of all by far
 Is the family you are.

Look [bad word] round the bend
 Santa and his reindeer friends
 With a Ho! Ho! Ho! and a Hey! Hey! Hey!
 It’s Santa’s super sleigh.