All the other kids with the pumped up kicks 
You'd [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word] my gun 
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks 
You'd [bad word]  [bad word]  faster than my bullet 

Ellen works a long day, giving weird interviews in a slick cool sweater
And it gets kind of weird, calling us out like we’re boyfriend and girlfriend
But it’s not ‘cause we’re just sitting here, and we got cat videos
And dance on Betty White and stuff, and it’s always going to be weird
‘Cause this song is all about Ellen, it’s weird yeah

Every single time [bad word] on this show, it’s really weird, really weird
All because of Ellen
Every single time [bad word] on this show, it’s really weird, really weird
Always end up dancing

I’ve been on this show eight times now and I still remember
Ellen hiding in the bathroom with a hidden camera and she scared me so bad
And I fell and I could’ve died. And she always asks me who I’m dating every time I’m on the show
And I don’t even know why, but it gets five million hits on YouTube

Every single time [bad word] on this show, it’s really weird, really weird
All because of Ellen
Every single time [bad word] on this show, it’s really weird, really weird
Always end up dancing