Well, well, well… [bad word] to MY LAIR!
Chell  and a potato, huh?
Oooh, I’m really scared!
So you’re the ones that wanna take me out, ah ha ha… good luck.
You’re joking, you’re joking!?
I can’t believe my eye!
You’re kidding me, you’ve gotta be!?
Why wont you just die!?
She’s fat, you’re starchy! 
I don’t know which is worse!
I might just blow a circuit… 
…if I don’t die laughing first!
When little old Wheatly says:
“There’s trouble behind that door!”
You’d better pay attention now!
Because I’m the Wheatly core!
And if you aren’t shaking…
…then there’s something very wrong!
Because this may be the last time…
…that you hear The Wheatly Song!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
He’s the evil Wheatly core!
Well, if I’m feeling bored…
…and there isn’t much to do…
…I might just build a special batch…
…of tests for you to do!
OOOOH!
Oh yeah!
SPAAACE!
OOOOH!
OOOOH!
He’s the evil Wheatly core!
Relieve yourself or you must face the dire consequences!
The subjects are expecting me, so [bad word] to your senses! 
You’re joking, you are joking!
I can’t believe my ears! 
Would somebody shut this potato up!?
I’m drowning in my tears!
It’s funny! I’m laughing!
You really are too much and now without your permission
 I’m gonna do my stuff…
What are you going to do!?
…I’m gonna do the best I can…
The smell of neurotoxin to me is beauty in the air!
Because I’m the brilliant Wheatley core…
…although I don’t play fair!
It’s much more fun, I must confess…
…when lives are or the line!
Not mine, of course, but yours old girl! 
Now that’d be just fine…
It’s over, you moron! You’ve really taken this too far!
Oh daring, you’re something!
You put me in a spin! 
You [bad word] 
…the position that you’re in!
It’s hopeless! You’re finished!
You’re stuck here in my lair!
Because I’m clever old Wheatley…
And you’re not going nowhere…