I'm a vegetable and I don't need to go out
I can stay at home I don't need to twist and shout
I don't like the sound of rock'n'roll because it's realy loud

I'm a vegetable and I spend my life in my bed
I could pick up a girl but I lay in my bed instead
Could somebody tell me am I still alive or dead

I'm a vegetable and I need to grow me some brain
'Cause without grey matter I feel like I'm going insane
I'm 27 and I don't even have a name

I'm a vegetable, I was watered with acid rain
I've been doped with hash, I was sniffing too much cocaine
Now the only thing I realy feel all the time is pain

I'm a vegetable with my roots down into the ground
I'm the most boring person that could be possibly found
Don't you ever try to be my friend or I will drag you down