Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
I'll tell you right now that it ain't no use.
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 

Pain was hunting me down, but I gave him the slip.
I left the city through a tunnel and I headed for the sticks
With oregano oil and a morphine drip.
Pain was hunting me down, but I gave him the slip.

And I feel in love with identical twins,
They'd lived 34 summers between the two of them.
I gave one my ego, gave one my id.
Yeah I gotta get back to my pretty little twins.

Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
I'll tell you right now that it ain't no use.
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 

I was lost for a year in those almond trees.
The sun was rising in the South and setting in the East.
I was half awake, I was half asleep.
I thought I would never get out of those almond trees.

So don't think too slow in the [bad word] sun.
You'll get buried alive when the [bad word] 
Tapping your time on a Conga [bad word] 
Don't think too slow in the [bad word] sun.

I met a black skinned man with an ice cream grin.
And a blond Afghan with that heroin.
We moved to the mountains where the highway ends.
And I got myself that ice cream grin.

So don't search too long for that Aztec gold.
Like old Cortez, gonna lose your soul.
Turn an honest man into Diablo.
Don't trade your soul for no Aztec gold.

Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word] 
Don't ever buy nothing from a man named [bad word]