Get crashed by a crasher,
Destroy vital apparatus.
Find a way into Android [bad word]  [bad word] too fast on a pool of Propulsion Gel.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Play Hide'n'Seek with a turret,
Stand in front of an Energy Pellet.
Push your friend into toxic waste,
Shoot a portal straight into outer-space.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
 [bad word] your face on a Hard-Light Bridge,
Forget your boots and fall off the edge.
Suffocate in toxic gas,
Look at the opperational end of the device.

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Fall out of a test-chamber,
Get thrown down an incinerator.
Consume a lot of bounce-goo,
I wonder, what's this red button do?

Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

Donate one or more of your vital organs,
Fall into a pool of deadly toxins.
Go into cryosleep when there's no more power,
Get put into a potato and get eaten by a crow.
Stand around a platform heading towards fire,
Wait around for Half-Life 3!

They're the dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die!
So many dumb...
So many dumb ways to die!