If you would sit
Oh so close to me
That would be nice
Like it's supposed to be
If you don't I'll slit your throat
So won't you please be nice
If you would hug your arms right around me
That would be snug
Like it's supposed to be
If we part I'll eat your heart
So won't you please be nice

Oh don't you love this romancing
Know that it's your life you're chancing
Isn't it nice
Now you've married me
Sugar and spice
Like it's supposed to be
If you go i'll get your dough
So won't you please be nice

Stop with your jazz oratory
I only listen to top forty
 [bad word] 
Isn't it nice
Together we'll always live
No sacrifice
We'll vote conservative
If [bad word] I'll pull a gun
Give me head or you'll be dead
Salute the flag or I'll call you a [bad word] 
Oh won't you please be nice