I used to be a dead guy
Now I'm a [bad word] jedi
And I've got lots of news for you
And I've got a long list of things to do

I used to dwell in the present
I used to be so hesitant
But now I've got my whole life to live
And I've got all my love to give

To all you [bad word] that I hate

It's like the Gift of the Magi
It's like the Gift of the Magi 2
You sold your soul to buy some [bad word] And I sold my soul to grow a [bad word] 
We gotta get him in the van
Well what if he resists?
Just kick him in the back of the [bad word] head
And put him in the back of the [bad word] van

It's a miracle of science
All this betrayal and violence
And it lives inside us all
It lives inside our hearts
Just like a stupid [bad word] tapeworm

Who can we blame?

The husband divorced his wife
After she cut her hair
Because she was way less [bad word] And that's just unforgivable
He moved into a condo
He hung out by the pool
But he never wore a bathing suit
He just wanted to scope out the talent

If God doesn't like ugly
Then God doesn't like anybody
So [bad word] God anyway
God is obsolete

My God thinks my jokes are funny

There's no one to blame
People are just [bad word] mean

Go suns!