Jordan-‘Ahhhh Jordan can you wash up, ahh Jordan can you just do something round the house for once’ f*ck off! Rrrr shut up mum I aint doing nuttin round the house
Check me out im a proper couch potato
no one here can do anything else without my say so uh,
I don’t play no games yo gte me a sandwich with a little bit of mayo
what im a proper couch potato
no one here can do anything else without my say so uh
I don’t play no games yo
check it out what so to go to the gym I pay 30 quid a month
in the last month ive been once I am done
I go at half twelve and I leave by one
cos I realise that jamming’ on my sofas more fun
all I do is watch friends
probably the reason why ive not got friends
yeah what men the day I move
is the day that people say that Rachael’s got pegged
yeah I don’t play no games
sitting here sipping on some pino gregio
yo getting texts of my ex wanting  [bad word] parred everyone still she is quite safe though
yo what the theme though
basically lay-low stay in play halo breaks at my say so
what? And if I do go out well im getting cheesy chips on the way home [bad word] 
This is how I want to live my life for all these years [bad word] and I will do it I will do it
and if I keep this up then I will end up jobless fat and dumb
but I will do it I will do it

Listen up yo I said check me out im a proper couch potato
no one here can do anything else without my say so uh
I don’t play no games yo get me a sandwich with a little bit of mayo
what im a proper couch potato
no one can do anything else without my say so
uh I don’t play no games yo yeah
I leave the sofa looking like my [bad word] cheek
yard reeks having let my bath leak since last week
Jordan-I cant be bothered to do the rest of this song
Harley-oh oh ohhoh ohohohooooh
Jordan-cant be f*cked mate
harley-do it!
Jordan-I cant be [bad word] harley-your so lazy mate!
Jordan-Hahaha, its not my fault I got bet-
Harley-do something mate
Jordan- I got better things to do
Harley- like what?
Jordan-f*cking eat.
Harley-Eat? You eat about ten minutes ago ,go on do it
Jordan-ahhh f*cking [bad word] ahh you know what, I really cant be [bad word] [bad word] 
This is how I want to live my life for all these years [bad word] and I will do it I will do it
and if I keep this up then I will end up jobless fat and dumb
but I will do it I will do it
Jordan-check me out.