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[bad word] intro)

Spoken: It was a moonlit night in old Mexico. I walked alone between some old
adobe haciendas. Suddenly, I heard the plaintive cry of a young Mexican girl.

(female voice singing a series of "La-la-la's)

You [bad word] home, Speedy Gonzales
Away from tannery row
Stop alla your a-drinkin'
With that floozie named [bad word] on home to your adobe
And slap some mud on the wall
The roof is leakin' like a strainer
There's loadsa roaches in the hall

Speedy Gonzales, why [bad word] home?
Speedy Gonzales, [bad word] ya leave me all alone?

Spoken in a male Mexican accent: Hey, Rosita-I hafta go shopping downtown
for my mudder-she needs some tortillas and chili peppers.

(female voice singing a series of "La-la-la's)

Your doggy's gonna have a puppy
And [bad word]  outta coke
No enchiladas in the icebox
And the television's broke
I saw some lipstick on your sweatshirt
I smelled some perfume in your ear
Well if you're gonna keep on messin'
Don't bring your business back a-here

Mmm, Speedy Gonzales, why [bad word] home?
Speedy Gonzales, [bad word] ya leave me all alone?

Spoken in a male Mexican accent: Hey, [bad word] queek-down at the cantina
they giving green stamps with tequila!!

(female voice singing a series of "La-la-la's)
(female voice singing a series of "Ya-ya-ya's)
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