When I feel kinda like a giant useless slump
Ready to be taken to [bad word] dump
You call me up on your red telephone
Make me happy again and then you have to go

But I've been trying to think positively
About taking up new activities
I'll do yoga and learn Chinese
Play accordion and eat my peas

But will you spend New Year's Eve with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night

Everybody else will be out drinking
But I don't feel like drinking
Do you wanna stay in and hang out with me
We could play some Monopoly

It's embarrassing to think that at 25
I'm not doing something more wild with my life
There's a party over here, a party there
But my favourite party is in my bed

So will you please spend New Year's with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night

We can play Nintendo if you'd let me win
But you're [bad word] with these things
That's okay, i don't mind, let's make popcorn
Do you feel like watching Harold and Maude

You're the greatest the friend that i've ever had
I want you to know that i'm grateful for that
I won't let our acquaintance ever be forgot
Happy New Year, I love you, you're the best of the lot

So will you please spend New Year's with me?
We can hide in my bedroom and watch cartoons all night