Howdy there, [bad word] 
It's me, Toby [bad word] Everybody wanna hear a story?
Grab your fifth of Beethoven,
Or yer moonshine with a little bit o' eggnog in there for good luck
And listen up.
The following was all said by Jesus Christ at some point

I was drivin' down the street
When the police came to me
And they pulled to me to the curb,
And said "Can I see ID? "

And I said, No, Sir, [bad word] you
Your probably a Jew
So deck the halls and suck my balls,
Let's a smoke a blunt or two
Orrr, you could...

Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Police all to have AIDS (Hey)
Got 'em one day from a bathhouse gang
In Southeastern LA (Yay)
Suck my balls
Suck my Balls
Police all have AIDS (Hey)
So I hit the gas, and I [bad word] his [bad word] 
And then I got away.

So I drove down to the park,
To hunt right after dark.
And I saw some hippies dancin'
So I shot one in the heart.
And his friend said,
"Oh [bad word]  you [bad word]  killed him, man! "
Then I made him eat his frisbee, and he thre up in his hand.
And I made him...

Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Hippies all have AIDS (Hey)
Got 'em one time from the butt  vine on a vacation in Spain (Hey)
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Hippies all have AIDS (Hey)
They smoke their crack, and shoot their smack, and smell like [bad word] all day.

Went to the [bad word] bar
'Cause it wasn't too far
Saw a big [bad word] [bad word] with a bush so big, one day she'll be a star
She likes Twinkies in her G-String,
Or maybe a Hershey bar
Tonight, we gon' cow tippin' in the [bad word]  [bad word] bar (Yeehaa)

Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Fat [bad word] love cake.
I love to [bad word] fat [bad word]  like Catholics like to rape (Hey)
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Fat [bad word] love cake.
And if you stole this [bad word] thinks your [bad word] [bad word] 
WHAT... POWDER!
Powder? You know, cocaine?
YEE-HAW!