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Chilaxin’ out with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
They want to check this new joint, Club Convulsion
We put our [bad word] in motion
All my stupid friends rolled up and the D.J. looked like Superman, if he were homeless
And standing by the bar, douchebag was hitting on a tranny
Oh wait that’s Hillary Clinton there with [bad word] Cheney, who was killin’ a kitten
I saw Shaq, Jack Black and J-Lo
I even saw that one guy from that one show
I saw alcoholic Jews and fat [bad word] 
And Oprah was there like: “I’m Oprah, F-cker!”
And everything was good until the second
Homeless Superman put on this record
I stood there with my friends and the Olsen Twins
As he spins everybody had convulsions.
Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure.
Move, move, move like you’re having a fit
Shake, shake, shake. This is causing a spasm
Epileptic Techno
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Now I ain’t trying to disrespect epileptics
But the music he played made the place go hectic
The speakers on the deck became disconnected
All the alcoholic Jews were suddenly naked
I felt my muscles expand and contract
I passed out on the dance floor laying on my back
Reality started fading, cutting in and out
I woke up when an Olsen Twin threw up in my mouth
And we were hoping we could leave at our leisure
But the whole f&ckin’ theater was havin’ a seizure
Except Oprah, the music didn’t touch her
Still standing hard, “I’m Oprah, f-cker!”
I saw the D.J. loadin’ another disc
With most of the party still foaming at the lips
I grabbed my friends and headed for the exit
When Homeless Superman started spinnin’ that next hit
Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure
Move, move, move like you’re having a fit
Shake, shake, shake. This is causing a spasm
Epileptic Techno
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We woke up once again from a seizure
I wiped Mary-Kate’s vomit from my T-Shirt
We slid out the back like greased up butter
We saw Oprah there, “I’m Oprah, f-cker!”
We made it out alive, booyah!
We all stood around like:
“What are we going to do now?”
We picked a new club. What’d we get?
We somehow rolled up to Club Tourettes?
The music there gave everyone a tick
And every time it played the whole place would twitch,
And shift and switch and b&tch and talk sh-t like:
 [bad word]  barf, barf, [bad word]  bark, [bad word] #33;
Barf, p-ss, [bad word]  [bad word]  barf, barf, [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word]  [bad word] #33;
We ran away like a jet propulsion
Man, I guess we’ll go back to Club Convulsion
Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure.
Epileptic Techno, Epileptic Techno
Oooh no not having a seizure
Epileptic Techno, Epileptic Techno
Dance, dance, dance like you’re having a seizure
Epileptic Techno, Epileptic Techno
Oooh no not having a seizure
Epileptic Techno, Epileptic Techno
“You little [bad word]  thought you all knew Oprah!”
Don’t make [bad word] over there and f-ck you!