The first time I heard my heartbeat
I was so surprised I closed my eyes
and hummed to the rhythm – it sounded sweet
and just when I thought I had found my peace
disorder and chaos surrounded me
it woke up and broke through the boundaries
but instead of screaming I bottled it up
and soon all that anger will start to [bad word] 

I’ll never forget it – forever regret that
I ever neglected you my friend
soon we’ll be together – the badder the better
always and forever to the end that soon begins my friend

the strings you hear are audio images of the things I fear
so why don’t you sing my dear
the melody will give you energy when it is in your ear
yeah why don’t you do what you do best
care for yourself and [bad word] the rest
I’m not far from finally hitting that rock bottom
when I thought I couldn’t sink deeper
that was when I saw the dark silhouette of the grim reaper
in the bathroom mirror breathing down the neck
of my reflection
where can a spirit like mine ever find protection?
what is the right direction?
what are my errors and how can I correct ‘em?
 [bad word] it! I’ll dissect ‘em

I’m bored of this drag – yes I’m having enough
I’m packing my bags and I’m grabbing my stuff
I’m yelling “I’m sick of the smell – it’s repelling”
the voices of devils in [bad word] they are telling me
“life couldn’t be peachier down here underneath the earth”
who knows I might just take heed to their words
and then let my body be feeding the worms
I was attacked by memories
and I was smacked down on the street
tried to get back up on my feet but still I fell
maybe it’s time to set ‘em free – the suicidal tendencies
just as if I’m from Venice Beach and kill myself
‘cause I have visions of misery – pictures of pain
different decisions that need to be made
I’m begging you if you are willing to wait
just give me a minute – I need to be sane
I try to forget but I feel in my bones
that memories never will leave me alone
it’s quite bizarre and thoughts like these are
constraining me and my brain cells
will they be free when I’m in [bad word] 
stay with me – we might as well
just wait and see – guess time will tell