While standing at the junction on 42nd Street 
I idly kick a pebble lying near my feet 
I hear a weird noise, take a look up and down 
The cause of [bad word] is right there on the ground 
Imagine my surprise, thought I'd left it at home 
But there's no doubt about it, it's my own tombstone 

I went into a shop and bought a loaf of bread 
I sunk my teeth into it, thought I'd bust my head 
I dashed to the dentist, 'Hey, I've got an awful pain' 
The man looks in my mouth and screams, 'This boy is insane' 
Imagine my surprise, thought I'd left it at home 
But there's a lump in my mouth of my own tombstone 

I went in to see a movie, got the only empty seat 
I tried to stretch out in it, something blocking my feet 
Finally the lights came up, and I could clearly see 
slab of engraved marble, just staring up at me 
Imagine my surprise, thought I'd left it at home 
But there's no doubt I'm sitting on my own tombstone