SpongeBuck: Who’s there for you when you are sad and down?

(Idiot Friends)

Patrick: Who picks you up and smacks you all around?

(Idiot Friends)

SpongeBuck: Who puts thorns in you so you can save the town?

Patrick: Idiot friends, Idiot friends,

Both: Idiot friends!

Patrick: Da da da da, do da do da do,

Both: Idiot friends!

Patrick: Da da da da, de, doo da da,

Both: Idiot friends!

Patrick: Dee da da, doo-doo-doo, doh-doh!

Patrick: You know, SpongeBook,

All we’ve been a-doin’ is saying about what I’ve done for you,

Well, what have you done for me?

SpongeBuck: Who helps you pick your pants up off the ground?

Patrick: Thanks buddy! Only an idiot would do that!

SpongeBook: Let’s bring it home, idiot friend!

Patrick: Okay!

SpongeBuck: Who lets you ride on his coffin?

Patrick: Who slaps you hard so often?

SpongeBuck: What do you and me have [bad word] 

Both: We’re idiot friends!