I woke up this morning 
I had a scone and a large house blend 
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends 
I said I’m sick and tired of winter 
And I wish that it was spring 
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast 
Began to sing 

And he sang 
Ooh ooh child, what’d you think the cold winter’s gonna last forever? 
Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people to get together 
Outside 

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor [bad word] starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called [bad word] outside 

I thanked him for the information 
I cried a little when he flew away 
I watched an episode of The People’s Court 
And I tried to plan my day 
I called up my old lady 
She wasn’t home so I called my girl 
I asked her if she’d like to join me as I 
Entertain the world 

And I said 
Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise I will [bad word] the ants off
Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it when we’re taking each other’s pants off 
Outside 

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor [bad word] starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called [bad word] outside 

So we went to the park together 
We were walking in the midday sun 
We met all kinds of people and we 
We [bad word] everyone 
We [bad word] a lady who sells ice cream 
We [bad word] a man with a tan Shar Pei 
Everyone who needed [bad word] well they 
They got [bad word] today 
 [bad word] on 
Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you 
Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you 
Outside 

Cause it’s the first of May, first of May 
Outdoor [bad word] starts today 
So bring your favorite lady 
Or at least your favorite lay 
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe 
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto 
Grass below you, sky above 
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called [bad word] outside