Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot

 Take a jumbo across the water
 Like to see America
 See the girls in California
 I'm hoping it's going [bad word] [bad word]  But there's not a lot I can do

Could we have kippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, Mummy dear
They got to have 'em in Texas
Cos everyone's a millionaire

 I'm a winner, I'm a sinner
 Do you want my autograph
 I'm a loser, what a joker
 I'm playing my jokes upon you
 While there's nothing better to do

Don't you look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot

 Take a jumbo cross the water
 Like to see America
 See the girls in California
 I'm hoping it's going [bad word] [bad word]  But there's not a lot I can do