VELMA
 Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn.
 TRACY
 Oh my god, Penny, there's Link, Link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!
 PENNY
 I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition!
 VELMA
 Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Amber, look at this motly crew! oh
 this town has sure gone downhill since I was crowned miss...
 AMBER
 Oh, mother not more ancient history!
 VELMA
 Oh, my God how times have changed, these girls must be blind, [bad word] deranged!
 But, time seem to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Crabs.
 Amber, that move is far too dirty!
 AMBER
 Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!
 VELMA
 You can laugh, but life's a test!
 Don't do this, don't do that!
 Remember, Mother knows best!
 And the crowns in the vault from
 when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs
 AMBER
 these steps are perfect ammunition.
 VELMA
 Let me show you how you Mommy dear
 took out [bad word] 
 Girls, go get them, boys [bad word] 
 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
 Those [bad word] ups
 might still hold some [bad word]  They padded their cups
 But I screwed the judges! those broads thought they'd win if a plate they would spin in their dance..hahaha..not a chance
 boys, put me down!
 Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got!
 COUNCIL MEMBERS
 Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mambo!
 VELMA
 ready, begin
 On my show you'll never find a [bad word] hip or bump and grind!
 AMBER
 Whats that, a dance for flees and tics?
 VELMA
 Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!
 Oh I hit the stage
 Batons ablaze
 While belting Aida
 and preparing SOUFLEES!
 But that triple somersault
 is how I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs!
 DANCE BREAK!
 VELMA
 Proceed.
 TAMMY
 Are you scared we're on live?
 TRACY
 No, I'm sure I can cope.
 AMBER
 Well, this show isn't broadcast in
 COUNCIL GIRLS
 Cinema scope!
 VELMA
 I never drink one chocolate malt
 no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs!
 AMBER
 This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!
 VELMA
 Ha kid, she'll never get a date
 till daddy buys her a new nose!
 I would say
 Oi guevalt!
 if I wasn't miss Baltimore crabs
 AMBER
 Do you dance like you dress?
 LINK
 Amber, there's no need to be [bad word]  VELMA
 would you swim in an integrated pool?
 TRACY
 I sure would! I'm all for integration! it's the new frontier!
 VELMA
 Not in Baltimore, it isn't!
 and may i be frank
 first impressions can be tough
 and when i saw you i knew it
 if your size weren't enough
 your last answer just blew it!
 and so my dear
 so short and stout
 you'll never be in
 so were kicking you out!
 with your form and your fate
 oh, it isn't your fault!
 just down with a case of
 Miss Baltimore Crabs
 ergh you may go
 TRACY
 Ummm...Thank you
 PENNY
 I think they secretly liked you!
 LIL INEZ
 May I please audition?
 VELMA
 Of course not
 but u can bow and exalt
 cuz i am miss Baltimore crabs!
 COUNCIL GIRLS
 crabs, crabs, crabs