Peter: Mr Booze 

Audience: Mr Booze 

Peter: Mr Booze 

Mr Double O Z 

Brian & [bad word]  That sure spells booze 

Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes, if you mess with Mr. Booze 

Brian & [bad word]  Don't mess with Mr. Booze 

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze 

Peter: Don't mess with Mr. B-Double O-Z-

If you been so stiff they thought you died 

You'll feel better once you've testified 

Audience: Testify 
 [bad word]  Oh yeah! 

Audience: Testify 

Audience: Testify 
 [bad word]  I wanna testify, I wanna testify! 

Peter: Well then cleanse yourself my son, cleanse yourself! 
 [bad word]  One time I took a library book out and I fells asleep reading it and I left it under the bed. I forgot about it for three and a half years. I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day I had a sip of Rosé wine and I never made it out of the house 

Peter: Who's to blame? 

Audience: Who's to blame? 

Peter: What's his name? 

Audience: We know his name, his name is 

Mr. Booze 

Mr. Booze 

Mr. B-Double O-Z-don't ever choose 

Any game you play with him, you'll lose, so don't mess with Mr. Booze! 

Peter: If your head feels like it's two miles wide 

Audience: Two miles wide! 

Peter: You'll feel better once you've testified 

Audience: Testified 

Brian: Oh Yeah 

Audience: Testify 

Carl: I wanna testify, I wanna testify! 

Peter: [bad word] forward dear brother and testify! 

Carl: I used to be a soda pop guy. Then I switched to the bottle. Now I don't leave my couch and I've seen every movie ever. You name a movie, I've seen it 

Audience: Meet Dave 

Carl: Seen it 

Audience: The Eiger Sanction 

Carl: Seen it 

Audience: Donovan's Reef 

Carl: Seen it 

Audience: License to Drive! 

Carl: Definitely seen it 

Peter, [bad word] & Brian: That's a shame 

Audience: What a shame 

Peter, [bad word] & Brian: Who's to blame 

Audience: for Corey Haim? 

His name is 

Audience: What's his name? 

His name is 

Mr. Booze 

Mr. Booze 

Mr. B-Double O-Z-you must refuse 

You'll make the obituary news 

If you mess with Mr. Booze 

If you've been so stiff they'd thought you died 

You'll feel better once you've testified 

Testify 

Testify 

Tom Tucker: This man wants to testify 

Peter: Very well my brother 

Let us lead him on the path of righteousness 

Tom Tucker: This poor gentleman used to speak in long, eloquent sentences. But after years of drinking he can only speak in short, choppy utterances. 

Why, at one time, if you asked him who his favorite musicians were he'd say Leonard Bernstein, Johan Sebastian Bach and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. But thanks to that old devil hooch, it's all changed 

Who's your favorite musician Ollie? 

Ollie Williams: Cher! 

Tom Tucker: He doesn't even like Cher 

Brian: Now alcohol makes a big man small 

And can lead to a life of crime 

Audience: Yeah! 
 [bad word]  [bad word] makes a gent a bum 

And cash in before your time 

Audience: Yeah! 

Dr. Hartman: Bootleg gin puts you in a spin 

Till you don't even know your name 

Audience: Yeah! 

Peter: You're a basket case flat on your face 

And there's only one guy to blame 

Audience: Mr. B-Double O-Z-

Mr. Booze 

Mr. Booze 

Mr. B-Double O-Z-Don't ever choose 

Peter: You will wind up wearing tattered shoes 

If you mess with Mr. Booze 

Audience: Don't mess with Mr. Booze 

Peter: Oh Mr. Booze 

Audience: Don't mess with Mr